Here I am, blogging about this shit again. I really wish to scream, to yell, to vent all my anger. But I cannot, I must be that good girl who have to understand things.

Baptism? Fat hope! Maybe to me, this isn't acceptable. You can come home on days without that shit damn smell, but then again, those were what, not often seen. I hate it. I HATE IT. Why can't I see you, EVERYDAY, home early, spending time with me or mei.

Even when you're home, ALIVE, you wouldn't want to spend time with us. Take the initiative la. I know we're always spending our time in the room using the laptop. THEN CALL US OUT LA.

When will this end? I know I cannot give up now. But Im sick of things again. I tried to not take it seriously, to not think about it. I cannot. This is shit. Shit.

Banging and smashing things. You were fed up, then u shit damn it just smash things?! What kind of person is this? Ever seen a believer who does such shit? You always try and say things about God.. ahh, crap la. just crap ok. You don't see the effort others have made.

Poor Grandma. I just hope that she would be fine after seeing that. & thanks to you, you just made my day, with a crash. Buying back one? Its not about the money. Its how much Grandma has to carry the heavy shit back on her own without anyone's help. Because she knws we need the fan, because she knws the weather is so hot, because she cares. & what, you just smash it because you think its getting you fed up and that it isnt working. Come on la, then you just don't think. You always act as if you know alot of things, BUT YOU DONT OK!